10 Lessons from Seeking Flow Between Work, Family and Wellness

We all have our own journey, but so often there is something, sometimes one little thing that we take from somebody else’s experience that helps us. This is me being 100% real about what I think about, what I do (and sometimes what I don’t do). I’m still figuring out the flow between work and family and wellness. Here are a few lessons I’m learning and continuing to play with.

I am enough. I spent most of my life thinking I wasn’t thin enough or rich enough or smart enough. A few months ago I was trying to figure out the next steps in my business, and I actually had the thought, “I am not man enough.” I’m still tested by the idea of being enough, but the why behind putting time into my wellness is to remind myself everyday that I am enough.

Freedom does not mean no rules. Boundaries are so important. In order to feel well in my body, I had to understand what I should eat. I’ve had a rule around not eating gluten and dairy for 10 years now, but many rules are shorter lived. I like to call them experiments: ditching coffee for a week, committing to a cleanse for 21 days, gifting myself a good nights sleep. This year I am working on work boundaries. I’m making the effort to work 8–3 while the kids are in school, keeping weekends for family, and planning for sick days or vacation days.

Big Rocks have to come first and be non-negotiable. Big Rocks are three things that move you towards your dreams. They do not have to take the most time, but every day I do them, I feel like I got something done. Where do you want to be 10 years from now? What small thing can you do today to move you towards that? Think about 30 minutes writing the outline for your book, 1 hour prepping food for a cleanse, 10 minutes sharing your passion project with a friend, a day cleaning the basement.

Planning is my best tool with the highest ROI.  A big part of planning is committing and making space, so the act of planning really makes me consider what things even belong in my day. Productive does not mean busy. When I plan, I’m not always reacting. Instead, I make sure I’m making space for the things I want to do and to get done the things that need to get done.

My plan is not a set and forget thing. My planner can look a little messy, but I found out recently that is OK! I went through a phase where I wanted super beautiful, Instagram-worthy pages, but lately I realize the messier the better, because life is messy. Sometimes by Wednesday my meal plan is off, a kid gets sick, or I don’t have time to cut all the veggies for ratatouille the night I have it planned. Sometimes I don’t get something done at all for work or around the house, so I need to make more time to do it later in the week. Sometimes I ignore a timeblock all together, but if I am going to take my planning seriously, I have to move it somewhere else. I actually go back and account for changes I make in my planner. Messy, but it makes my planning real and helps me stay accountable.

My money is an important part of my wellness journey. I have a lot of really limiting beliefs about money and my worth. My MO has been to ignore it, but I know that doesn’t work. I feel very much at the beginning of my journey on this issue. In the past few years I have gotten more confident being honest about money. I think more about what I need, why I’m willing to spend on things (maybe it was ethically made or supports a friend in business), and what causes I want my money to go to.

Measurement is not all bad. I was inspired by an amazing coach named Christie to really ritualistically acknowledge money as it comes in. Know when payday is, have a gratitude practice when you see the money in your account. It took me a while to actually do this. This year I also started using an app called YNAB, short for You Need a Budget. Measuring money can be good. Measuring time and social media followers can be good. Maybe food measuring and the scale are not as bad as I have thought. I think it’s what you do with the information.

Clutter can really get in the way of feeling productive. If I am having a hard time doing work, it means something needs to be cleaned or decluttered. Before I sat down to create this podcast, I cleaned the kitchen and my desk. Literally, I had been trying to thing of ideas for days, and after a relatively quick clean-up, the ideas came flooding. Things to clean: your phone (can you get down to one screen of apps) a closet (try the Kon Marie method), your head (write lists to dump everything onto paper).

The little people are watching. If I have a bad day, my kids have a bad day. If I am stressed about dinner, they don’t eat. When I make an effort to design good days, they have good days. I find a way to enjoy cooking by making food I want to eat, listening to music, having my kids close by doing homework. They eat everything. I plan. Checklists appear on their walls with what things they need to get done. I talk about drinking water, they drink water. I meditate. Meditation becomes something they each find and love. None of us dream of our kids growing up to be stressed and feel trapped, so model the feeling of your dream.

This is a journey. There is always more. We get so focused on the destination, but what if we focus on the journey and the next step. This year I am working on feng shui, cleaning up our cleaning supplies, getting old medicine out of the house, slow fashion, retuning my energy, making the money we need to renovate our house, my daughter’s sleep, our home, reaching more moms. I have come so far from the tired, always sneezing 85 pounds overweight Mia from 11 years ago. But my body is always changing, my kids are getting older, my work has gone in different directions. Everyday I have to listen to my body. Everyday, I have to remember what I am here to do. Everyday I have to remind myself that I am enough. These are lessons I think about regularly, and I wanted to put them on your radar. Which one resonated with you the most? Which have you learned but need to revisit? Because, like I said, it’s a journey and we are constantly figuring thing out and then having new situations to apply them too. Keep at it. You are enough!