On this episode of the Plan Simple Podcast, I’m doing something a little different. I celebrated my birthday recently, which is a time of reflection for me, and I decided I wanted to share my story in a different way. Nine years ago, I was an exhausted, uninspired, fat, workaholic mom of three kids under five. I hit a wall and knew something had to change.
I had no idea how profound the changes in my health, happiness, family, spirituality, and work would be.
Today I’m focusing on three key lessons I’ve learned in the past nine years, and talking with two of the people that I’ve learned from and with too!
These are the core lessons I’ve learned:Change starts with me, but I can’t do it alone.
- I have a lot to learn – and there are so many people who can help me.
- Accountability by friends can make a huge difference.
I’m going to talk about all of these today because I think we all need these lessons, and even if we’ve learned them, we need reminders. (Myself very much included!)
Believe in the Change You Want
When you’re ready, you know it. And all you have to do is take the first step. I had no idea how I was going to change, all I knew was that I was ready to do whatever it was going to take to not be tired, not feel yucky, not feel like a bad mom, not have so much extra weight on my body …
I met one of my mentors, Taylor Wells, the next day, and she gave me my “last diet.” She had me eat real food. Lots of fruits and veggies, nuts and seeds. But besides the food, Taylor taught me a bigger lesson: That I could believe that I could have the health that I was desiring. That was up to me. If I believed it, I could have it.
Taylor shares these bits of wisdom:
- I believe that when you feel something in your heart and it resonates … go with that.
- What you focus on, grows. Choose to focus on things that make you feel good.
- Stop arguing with your limitations. Tell me what you can do, what you love, what you want.
- Whether it’s creating a vision for yourself or starting a morning routine, start where you are, any way that you can. Just start.
After Taylor got me on my path, I got really excited about learning. I found so many teachers and mentors (you’ll find a lot of them in the links). Nina Manoloson taught me to cook. And she taught me the 10.10.10 Method. The idea that scheduling 10 minutes for something for you makes a huge difference.
From there it was like a web of meeting people. One person led to another, and I found that what I needed kept showing up in my life when I needed it. I learned so much about food and family (and bringing the two together). As I explored the idea of bringing kids along for the ride, I found Kim John Payne and integrated a lot of his simplicity parenting ideas.
I learned about blogging and organization and abundance. And just when I realized I was creating an expensive hobby, I found Marie Forleo and B-school and learned how to love marketing. She also taught me that everything is figureoutable. Through B-school, my circle continued to widen.
Get an Accountability Buddy
I eventually ended up doing a year-long program with Fabienne Fredrickson. My big takeaway lesson: I need to be personally responsible for everything that happens in my life. This is the cornerstone of having a great life.
What’s interesting was that this lesson wasn’t very different from what I had learned from Taylor but I had, at this point, spiraled up. I was at a new place. I could hear new things.
Fabienne gave me this great tool to actually take personal responsibility — an accountability buddy. Somebody who we check in with regularly. Somebody else going through similar work, similar stages in their business or life. Someone who encourages us to stretch, while we do the same for them.
One of mine was Kelly Grimes. Kelley and I agree that the structure of an accountability buddy is important. Accountability isn’t about judgement or striving. Accountability is a place to show up honestly and authentically and have a commitment to yourself to grow. Accountability can be so motivating, and it’s a give and take.
Right now, I have an accountability friend for exercise. We have committed to walking every morning at 6:00. I can tell you that I did not want to walk this morning, but I went because I said I would.
Find Your Mentors
For the past three years, I really searched for mentors wherever I need to upgrade an aspect of my life. It started with food and wellness and parenting as those topics got folded into my work, I needed to learn various aspects of having a business. I learned about crowdfunding and then public speaking. I kept finding the next little step, the next person. It’s Hansel and Gretel following those crumbs.
I keep putting myself out there and finding the people I needed. I’ve made amazing friends and found new teachers and mentors and coaches.
- How to crowdfund from Patty Lennon
- The need for practice with public speaking from Alexia Vernon
- To change my money mindset from Kisstina Wise
- The difference between a coach and a consultant, and how to show up as a coach from Jenny Fenig
And so much more… instagram, photography, pinterest, facebook live, how to bake a chicken… Have you all seen what you can learn online?
And to be clear, I invested in myself on this journey because I really needed to be all in that way. But it does not always have to cost money. I have worked in 12 step fellowships. I have done free challenges. I have read books from the library.
In the same way that I had to learn that changing my food wasn’t just about weight, or really about weight at all, I’ve learned that as I talk about food, it’s really about time.
Making the time to show up on dinner, making the time to move throughout the day, figuring out how you’re going to get groceries into the house in the most efficient way, figuring out whether it’s relaxing to go to the grocery store, whether you need to have a different philosophy for that or different system for that …
Mentorship and accountability buddies have made such a huge difference in my life, and I’ve brought them together in FLOW365.
Go to http://www.plannsimplemeals.com/flow365 to get the details.
If you know this is a great move for you, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll figure out how we can hop on the phone and talk about whether this is a good fit for you.
- Taylor Wells
- Taylor’s Create the Best Life Ever cards
- Plan Simple Meals Facebook page
- Podcast with Nina Manoloson
- Nina Manoloson
- Dolores Hirschmann
- Podcast with Kim John Payne
- Simplicity Parenting
- Kim John Payne
- Holly Becker
- Marie Forleo
- Podcast with Desha Peacock
- Desha Peacock
- Amy Pearson
- Podcast with Anna Kunnecke
- Anna Kunnuecke
- Jill Hope
- Donna Cravotta
- Fabienne Fredrickson
- Podcast with Kelley Grimes
- Kelley Grimes
- Podcast with Patty Lennon
- The Crowdfunding Book by Patty Lennon
- Podcast with Alexia Vernon
- Podcast with Stacey Martino
- Bari Tessler
- The Art of Money
- Jenny Fenig
- Podcast with Jenny Fenig
- Podcast with Sarah Jenks
- Whole Woman
Doable Changes from this episode:
- CHOOSE YOUR FOCUS. What you focus on grows, so choose to focus on things that make you feel good. Write inspiring quotes or your own mantras and goals on notecards to look at throughout the day. Or write them on a sticky note and put in on your mirror. Make it a wallpaper on your phone.
- TAKE 10 MINUTES FOR YOU. In the morning, plan three 10-minute slots, to do something super nurturing. You might make a green smoothie, you might stretch, you might go on a walk, you might take a nap, you might talk with a friend, you might read a book, you could jump rope, you could hula hoop, whatever feels really great on that day. Plan the 10 minutes into your day … and then do it!
- REACH OUT. What do you want in your life? Find one person who is doing something related to that and reach out to them. Post on their social page. Join their free (or paid) class. Email them and tell them why a particular podcast or post meant something to you.