Dear amazing women,
Today I find myself wanting to write you a letter, something a bit more personal than usual…
I am about to go on a journey, and I want to invite you for the ride.
But I cannot authentically do that until I tell you a story — the one that starts when I landed in a Weight Watchers program at age 11, continued onto disordered eating in high school, zig zagged through every diet created into my 30s, and ends with me in a “healed” body 12 years ago — or so I thought.
Here’s the deal. I am all about learning and passing what I learn back out to you. Sometimes I do that very literally. Sometimes I learn things that get passed back through expanded capacity in my coaching and teaching.
I always make sure I am only talking about things that I have resolved, and that’s going to make today’s message different. I am a bit more in the messy middle with one of my 2022 intentions, but every bone in my body is encouraging me to share with you now…
Here’s the story.
2021 was both the hardest year of my life and the best year of my life.
In November of 2020, I admitted that my then 14-year old daughter was not OK. She needed help, and I decided that I was the one to help her. This was me following my intuition. (I was told by people I trust that she needed more institutional help.)
I quickly realized a big piece of me being able to help my daughter was me healing myself. At a very high-level that looked like… I looked at all the hard moments in my childhood and re-felt them to heal them. I cried a lot. I wrote a lot. I rewrote a lot of my past. I talked it through with a coach, a healer, and a select group of friends frequently. I did this at strategic times, so I could be with clients and my kids during the day as a functioning human.
I practiced staying in the present moment as much as possible. This helped me operate from intuition and love, and have a chance of doing all the right things for my girl and community.
By July 2021, I had my girl back. Not only was she back, she had become a new version of herself — as had I.
In October I felt really good about the experience and led a 6-week class with my mentor and coach, Sil Reynolds, called Easeful Motherhood, where we had the honor of supporting an amazing group of moms as they navigated their tricky corners.
All was great, except as my family needed less support, I realized that in holding the space for a kid to heal — while also navigating parenting 2 other kids, nurturing a marriage, serving beautiful clients, growing a business, and living in a pandemic — I literally ignored my body.
So that brings us to the past few months….
I embarked on a journey to take impeccable care of myself — my body, mind, and soul.
I’ve made a few agreements with myself.
#1. I decided that all action to take care of myself will come from love. If there is an action that is feeling like “I’m supposed to be doing this” or “I should be doing that,” I will slow down and get back into alignment with myself before “doing” anything.
#2. I decided that there is no end destination. This meant not starting with food — until I am as sure (as I can be) that I am doing it out of love for myself vs. shame that I gained weight in the last year — as body-image seems to be the most complicated conditioning from my past. In fact, I do not want food changes to come from any motivation other than a desire to take good care of my body. I also don’t want to send anything but ungraded messages to my girls (and you) about food and body. This has been the hardest agreement with myself. Quick fixes are appealing.
#3. I decided it’s really important I share the journey with you. I’m not usually so behind the scenes and in real time, but it is feeling super important right now.
So I started with things like weekly acupuncture to tend to some perimenopausal symptoms and walking to keep things moving. I went to hot yoga for a full month before Covid kicked up again.
I have not been ready to take on food — until now.
You’ve heard me talk about Tess Masters before.
Her 60-day food reset, literally changed my life a year and a half ago.
It was the food changes that I needed to respond to my 46-year-old body, as the lessons from my 30s were no longer working.
While working with Tess, I literally rid myself of awful cramps and headaches, got my energy back, and was a really happy version of myself (my whole family noticed).
But my intentions were so misaligned.
Everytime I made a choice to eat, I cared less about what my body felt like, and way more about what I thought it should look like — and the truth is that at the time I did not even see it!
I have known that Tess has a Reset coming up in January for a while.
I have known that I only want to do it from a place of self love.
I have known that I only want to share it with you, if I am in a place where I can share everything above.
So I have been sitting with it for weeks, doing the mind and soul work, and wondering if I will feel aligned to spend 60-days deeply nurturing my body through nutrition, hydration, movement and sleep with Tess.
Two weeks ago I was not sure.
Today I am.
I am ready.
I may have to catch old thoughts.
I may have to slow down.
I know the food, mind and soul parts will each have their obstacles.
And I am super excited to take them on!
I’m going to be a student of Tess and give myself the gift of fully being in that role. I will be active in her Facebook group, and I will share my journey as I go on a personal Instagram feed I am creating.
I would love for you to join me if it speaks to you.
And if you are in FLOW365 or thinking of joining us, we will have lots of food support in place this season that will work well with Tess’s program.
Taking care of ourselves is not always straightforward, but I believe it can be simple and easeful if we take action from within.
Listen to your gut on this one.
And then take your first step, imperfectly.
Listen in above because at the end I talk more about the actual program!
So much love from me to you.
The diet industry makes a lot of money at this time of year. There is a part of me that wants to rebel and not take part in a food related program… especially now… maybe, especially one with “Skinny” in the title.. But, how my body feels right now does not feel like me. And I fully trust Tess and what she has created. I am making a move that feels very aligned.. And anything you do, should feel really right to you! Sign-up for Tess’s 60-Day reset here »» Enrollment is open through Sunday.
Please please please, only join from a place of love and respect for you and your body. My friend Nina is doing a class on Body Peace this Saturday. If you are unsure where you stand, it may be a great place to start.
We will be planning our best year ever on Sunday or Tuesday. Want to plan yours? Make sure you sign up for the FREE two-hour workshop.